ALIVE WITH YOU (Real Love series Book 1) Read online

  Gavin has a bit of a bad boy look to him and is the proud owner of a black and silver Harley Davidson Road King. He has soft, honey-blond hair, about chin length; I love running my fingers through it and tucking it behind his ears. His beard is just long enough to pull on but not what you'd call a full beard, and I melt when he smiles so big that his dimples show. His eyes are enchanting, a crystal blue with specks of green and beautiful blond eyelashes that most women would kill for. Its crazy how just pulling his hair back and putting on a dress shirt can instantly turn him from a biker to a prep school teacher. I can't believe this incredibly sexy man wanted me, and I blew it by pushing him away. Now I'm in the friend zone. At least it's a flirty friend thing; it makes most people assume we're a couple.

  "Hey there beautiful! Nice legs, I mean nice dress." He gave me a wink and pulled out my chair, kissing my cheek as I sat. "I have good news, baby girl. I got you a meeting with the gallery owner I was telling you about. They're having an expo the night before Halloween, and if she likes your stuff, you're in. She gave me her number to give to you, and I hope you don't mind but I gave her yours."

  Tyler laughed. "Come on Gav, we all know the number was for you."

  "Thanks Gav, I don't even know what to say. Although I must say I'm impressed by your ability to dazzle women into doing things for you." I gave him an evil smile and blew him a kiss. "So tell me, did you use those eyes of yours, your adorable dimples, or did you introduce her to your little friend?"

  "No worries, love. All nine inches of my not-so-little friend are waiting patiently to dazzle you!"

  Tyler shook her head. "You two should just do it already because you make me want to puke."

  "So I saw my shrink today. Let's just say I'm done stressing over things. The past is the past, and I can't keep delaying my future on account of it. You can't betray the dead, and I'm not trying to die alone and full of regret because I'm too afraid to change my ways."

  Tyler reached over and hugged me. "I'm so proud of you, Claire. I know it hasn't been easy, but it's time. We need to get our shit together before we're officially considered cougars."

  "Umm, does the single dad get in on this club? Even better, I could break it up." He gave me his mischievous smile and raised an eyebrow. "I do have to bail on you ladies, I've got parent/teacher conferences this evening."

  Tyler stuck her tongue out. "You just don't want to pay for dinner, you cheap ass!"

  "Here woman." Gavin threw his credit card at her as he stood up. "I'll get it back tomorrow, and no shopping after dinner, either." He wrapped his fist inside my long, blonde hair and gently pulled my head back. "If you want to buy something I can rip off with my teeth then feel free."

  "Maybe I will. I know you like me in red. So tell me, hot stuff, do you prefer satin or lace?"

  Releasing my hair, he whispered in my ear, "I hope you know you're driving my not-so-little friend crazy right now."

  "Well, aren't you a class act, Mr. Price?" I smiled, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

  Tyler stuck her finger down her throat. "Enough already."

  He kissed my forehead and gave Tyler a hug before he left. We had another glass of wine and went our separate ways.

  Somehow, on the way home, I ended up at Brown's. I hadn't stepped foot in there since the night of the accident; it was too painful. Dr. Kelder had a good point about moving on with everything, and this was the first step. I took a deep breath and walked in the door, scanning the room for a familiar face. I saw my old boss, Dave, by the pool table trying to pick up a young twenty-something. He looked the same as he did the last time I saw him, like George Clooney in From Dusk till Dawn but with an Irish accent. He had all the girls with daddy issues eating out of his hand. He ran toward me and scooped me up.

  "Blondie, how ya' been, doll?"

  "Damn Dave, I have a dress on; you're showing the customers my lady parts."

  "What have we here? My blondie is all dressed up!"

  "Well, don't get used to it." I looked toward the girl. "I see some things never change. At least that one looks old enough to be in the bar."

  "Barely. If she's telling the truth, she's twenty-one. With tits like that, who cares?"

  "Am I cock-blocking? I'll let you get back to Big Boobs McGee."

  "No way, blondie. Girls like her are a dime a dozen. You've got my full attention. Where's your partner in crime? I figured the two of you finally came out of the closet, got hitched, and were off starting a family."

  There wasn't any hiding what Ty and I did; plenty of people knew about our fling. If I could go without dick in my life, Tyler would be my wife by now.

  I told him all about my visit with Dr. Kelder and how I need a fresh start. "I'll always love Kayleb; he helped me out of my shell. He taught me to be myself no matter what anyone had to say, and he loved me for me. It's time for me to realize its okay to move on. I want to feel the touch of a man who wants me and not feel like I'm doing something wrong." I saw the empty stage and went and sat on it. I twisted my ring back and forth as the memory of that night ran through my head. The way he sang to me, the way he looked when he was down on one knee, how my hands shook as he put the ring on my finger, and the kiss that I didn't know would be our last.

  "The last time I was up here, I was getting this put on my finger."

  Dave went to the jukebox and chose the song Kayleb had sung to me. Tears welled up in my eyes when I heard his voice, and everyone around me seemed to fade from existence. I saw Kayleb sitting on the stage, singing like he had that night. It felt so surreal, warm, and painful at the same time. He looked like an angel, so full of light. I tried to touch him, but I was frozen. The song ended, and he knelt beside me. "It's time to let me go, sweetheart. I'll see you again one day, but you need to live your life. I'll always be with you, but you need to give your heart to someone else, be the mother you deserve to be again. Audrey and I will be waiting for you, together." I felt a warm sensation on my cheek and then, just like that, he was gone. A strange sense of peace flowed through me as I kissed my ring and moved it to the other hand.

  "I'm proud of you, doll. I know this isn't easy for you. He was a good man, and he loved you both very much. Your baby is in good hands, and this is the closure you need. I'm glad my blondie is back."

  ****

  I got home and kicked off my boots. My whole body ached, so I went upstairs and drew myself a hot bath. I put on some music and surrounded myself in the soft scent of lavender bubble bath.

  Nothing soothes me more than alternative music from the 90s. I can't explain it, but it takes me to another place. The guitar is like a safe haven for me. Kayleb taught me how to play it, enabling me to become a part of the magic that moved me. I haven't picked my guitar up since he died. It's just hanging on my living room wall. I dipped my head under the water and let it all go.

  I climbed into bed with Calvin and turned on the TV. He nuzzled his fuzzy face in my neck and covered me with slobbery kisses. As we snuggled up, I flipped the channels until I found a marathon of Hard Law. I loved Winston Ryan, the actor who played Agent Vince Elliot. He was an undercover cop in a badass motorcycle club who worked his way up to VP. Kayleb bought me a red Mrs. Vince Elliot shirt as a joke, but it's actually one of my favorites. I turned out the lights and, after such a long day, fell right to sleep.

  CHAPTER 2

  Claire

  I woke up ready to start my new life, the new version of the old me. I called Tyler and asked her meet me at our usual Dunkin Donuts for coffee so I could tell her about my emotional breakthrough. Ready for my lazy day, I threw on yoga pants and a tank top, wrapped my hair in a messy bun, and headed out the door. I got there first, so I grabbed our usual fix, blueberry iced coffee. Just as I sat down, she got there and joined me.

  "Thank you, love. Boy, we are creatures of habit."

  I told her all about what happened at Brown's and the vision of Kayleb. "I know it sounds crazy Ty, but it all seemed so real. I felt s
uch a sense of peace afterward, like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I got the closure I've needed. I'll never be able start a new chapter in life if I keep re-reading the last one." I showed her that I'd moved my ring off my left ring finger and lifted my coffee in the air. "So, here's to a new beginning. Now I have to figure out how to tell Gavin how I feel. This flirty friendship we have is all in good fun, but I want more. If I 'fess up to it and he doesn't feel the same way, I risk losing him, and if I lose him, then I lose Miles. If he wanted more, he would have tried by now."

  "You need to cut all the sexual tension and give the man some of that sweet ass. The poor guy's eyes bulge every time he sees it."

  "Well, a lady never makes the first move."

  "Being a lady is overrated; get yourself a big ol' penis. Besides, he made the first move years ago. How about an old school girl's night? You, me, Freddy Prinze Jr., and some Honey Jack!"

  "Sounds great. She's All That and intoxication begin at 6 o'clock."

  "I need to get to the shop now. One of my girls called out again, so I'm there until five. This chick is pissing me off with all her excuses. If she wasn't a single mom, I'd have canned her ass months ago."

  "You're too damn nice. Random thought: you own your own coffee shop so why do we always meet here?"

  "Because I end up working any time I enter my lovely Java Spot. Later, love!"

  I was bored and had the itch to do something fun, so I called Gavin to see if I could steal Miles for the day. I loved taking Miles out; it made me feel like a mom again. I loved the way he looked at me with those innocent little eyes. We both filled the hole in each other's hearts. It was such a great feeling when someone came up and told me how cute my son was. All I ever did was say thank you. As childish as it seems, I loved pretending he was mine.

  I pulled up to the house, and he came running out and jumped into my arms. "Hey, love bug, are you ready for some fun?"

  He squeezed me tight and kissed my cheek. "I missed you, Mommy!"

  I looked at him, and his eyes immediately hit the ground. This poor kid just wanted a mom to love him. I didn't get how she could just walk away and not look back, although I'm glad she did because now I have him.

  "Miles, we can talk to Daddy about whether or not you can call me that. I don't mind, but he has to say it's okay first." I gave him a big hug and kiss. "I love you so much, sweetie, and I promise I'll never leave you, no matter what you call me. You'll always be my little love bug, even when you're all grown up."

  Gavin came outside. "Any way I can get you to let me play third wheel? I know my boy is your date, but I'd like to tag along. Maybe he can show me how to get the girl."

  Miles laughed and grabbed both of our hands. "You can come, Daddy, but she's mine."

  He tussled the boy's hair and smiled at me. "I guess Mr. Miles gets the final decision!"

  "Daddy, can Claire be my mommy? I know she's not my real mommy, but I wish she was."

  Awkward doesn't begin to explain how I felt. "Gav, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say here. I don't mind; honestly, I'd love it. Realistically speaking though, once you find the right girl, she's going to want that title. I understand if it's reserved for the future Mrs. Gavin Price."

  He bent down to his son's level and looked him in the eyes. "If you want Claire, buddy, you've got her." Standing up, he hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Thank you for loving him."

  "I'm dressed like a total bum, so we can't go just anywhere. I'm thinking Bounce World. How's that sound, love bug?" He loves that place. I'm not gonna lie, so do I. I used to take Audrey there all the time. The place is all bounce houses and trampolines big enough for adults to enjoy, also.

  "Miles, I think your mommy looks very pretty, even when she's dressed like a bum." Giving me a wink, he smiled. "Let's bounce! I'm driving though; my truck misses you.

  The last time I was in his truck, I was drunk out of my mind. I guess I'd had a few too many shots of Fireball. Gavin says I was making out with the dashboard and telling the truck how sexy it was. Honestly, I don't remember that part. I do love it though. It's a black Ford F150 Raptor, and it really is just as sexy as its owner.

  ****

  The three of us jumped around that place for what seemed like hours until the basketball section finally did me in. I jumped off the ledge and tried to dunk it but fell flat on my face instead.

  They simultaneously yelled, "Mommy down!"

  "Thanks boys. Can I get a hand?"

  Gavin reached out to help me up, but Miles pushed him down right on top of me. He pushed his upper body up and stared at me for a minute, giving me his beautiful smile that made his dimples show. "If we weren't in public, I might take full advantage of this position." He rubbed his nose against mine. "I could do some very naughty things to you right now." He kissed my forehead and did a push-up to roll off me. He helped me up and smacked my ass as we climbed out of the bounce house, making me yell unintentionally. "We should go. Mr. Monster looks like he needs a nap."

  The man was one of my best friends, my shoulder to cry on. If I try for more, and he doesn't feel the same way, then I could lose him. I had my chance, and I pushed him away. I blew it. There was only one way to find out if he wanted more than this playful friendship. I had to suck it up and ask. Miles fell asleep so I figured it was time. I mustered up the courage, but just as I opened my mouth to speak, he interrupted me.

  "Why are you so good to him? You treat him like he's yours even though we're only friends. I'm grateful for it, but sometimes I wonder why you do all you do for us."

  "Gav, no child should be without a mother. He's so sweet and easy to love; it just feels so right. You just need to tell the next chick she's back burner in my boy's eyes. You're stuck with me for the long haul, Mr. Price. I'm the baby mama!"

  "God help me!" He started laughing then grabbed my hand to kiss it.

  Once we got back to the house, he gave me a tight hug before I got into my car. I wanted to stay right there in his arms, for him to hold me like that and never let go. With a kiss to my forehead, he opened my car door for me.

  "Why do you always kiss my forehead? I don't mind, but I never see you do it to Ty, and you do it to me all the time."

  "Honestly, Grammy always says a kiss on the forehead is much sweeter than a thousand kisses on the lips. They are full of love and respect instead of pure lust."

  I gave him a slightly embarrassed smile then got into my car. Driving home, my face was probably as red as my little red Cabrio. I tried not to make too much of it since he'd said it so casually, but I instantly had butterflies in my stomach hearing those words.

  Tyler showed up about an hour late; she's the type that will be late for her own funeral.

  "I know I'm late; stop giving me the stink eye. I brought Honey Jack and Captain, girlie. What's your poison?"

  "I'll go with the Cap tonight." I spaced out for a few minutes. I couldn't stop thinking of Gavin. My body started to tingle as I thought about his body on top of me, about his strong arms on each side of my face. The words he said kept running through my mind, and I could still feel him holding me close.

  Tyler grabbed the cups and started making our drinks. "Okay, spill it woman."

  "What are you talking about?"

  "Claire, I've been your friend for over two decades. I can read you like a book. Do you really think I can't tell that something is going on in that pretty little head of yours? I have a real good idea of what it is, but I want to hear you say it."

  "You're crazy, Ty!"

  She started blowing little kisses at me. "Whatever you say, Mrs. Price."

  "Oh my God, are you twelve?”

  "Well, I'm tired of seeing my two best friends fight the inevitable. It's obvious that you both want the same thing. All the cute flirting has turned into straight sexual tension lately. You need to stop being so scared of rejection. The man has turned down over a dozen women just waiting on you. He's the sweetest guy I know, and he's sexy as hell, so what'
s the hold up?"

  "I don't want to lose him, Ty. Say I did get him, it would kill me if it didn't work out. It's safer to just stay friends."

  "That's bullshit and you know it. You've been crazy about him for such a long time, and now that you're ready to accept it, you come up with this friend zone crap. What happens when he's tired of waiting? Are you going to be able to handle watching the man you love be with another woman? Do you want someone else playing mommy to Miles, or are you gonna woman up and take what's yours?"

  "Jesus, you're brutal. I spent all day with them today. We went to Bounce World. Miles called me mommy, and it just felt so right. I was going to pour my heart out on the way home, but before I could, Gavin asked me why I was so good to Miles since we're only friends. He doesn't feel the same way, Ty. He's just a flirt. I guess I waited too long for my second chance."

  "Fuck the movie, let's get drunk."

  Half way through our bottle of Captain, we found ourselves singing and dancing to Ol' Dirty Bastard and reminiscing about Ty's old flames, I didn't have any to talk about, so we stuck to hers. It felt so good to escape reality for a little bit until the doorbell rang.

  Tyler peeked out the window. "It's Gavin."

  "Did you invite him, Ty? Don't lie to me."

  She shook her head no and opened the door. He looked a bit disappointed to see her and surprised to see me drunk.

  "Hey, Ty, I hope I'm not interrupting an estrogenfest."

  She pulled him in by his shirt. "It's cool homie, since you're one of the girls."

  I get serious word vomit when I'm drunk, so I tried to sober up real quick, but it wasn't happening. "What are you doing here? I mean, I wanted you here, but I wasn't expecting it to actually happen. Goddamn, you look sexy! Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?" I could feel my face turning red from embarrassment.

  "Why yes, you did say that out loud. I wanted to talk to you about something, but we can wait until you sober up. I know how your filter disappears when you drink, so let's watch a movie or something before you spill all your secret thoughts about me."